I know that the world of blogging is all about putting your thoughts and feelings into words for the world. As you can see I am not so good at that. I have struggled the past 3 months in college because many of my courses have had papers in them. My History one I have had to do 3 papers and I have one more due in a few weeks. Needless to say writing and I do not get along. My one interesting class is Woman's Studies and I have to write a poem/ page about A Letter to my Daughter. The past two weeks have been very emotional because I am not sure how to write this to a child I so desperately want but probably will never have. Do I just put in things I would want to pass on to them or do I tell stories about my life. Sadly I should probably read the book before I get to stressed out about this assignment.
For those of you who do not know me I am a family person. My dreams in life were to be a wife and mother. That is all I have ever wanted. A few years ago I got a diagnosis that makes it difficult to have kids. At the time it was no big deal because I had yet to meet a man that I wanted to be with. Now as I see 30 on the horizon I am really scared as I know I want kids but more than likely will have to do this one my own and figure out if this is even something I physically can do and financially afford. My friend Holly to me epitomizes motherhood she has 2 beautiful little girls under the age of 2. Although I know she has struggled she makes everything seem so easy. I am not sure why I have gotten so sappy tonight, maybe because I am fighting a cold or just a little down.
Showing posts with label Family. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Family. Show all posts
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
Legacy
Do we all plan on leaving a legacy behind or does it happen naturally?? That is the question that has been on my mind all weekend.
The past weekend I had some great familytime with my 16-year old cousin Rachel and came to realize that my grandparents left us a wonderful legacy on the blessing of family. This legacy is one that most people would think of as an old world view but meant so much to us. It was a simple legacy really, it was a belief that family should celebrate together and spend time together.
It seems like that does not happen often. I remember growing up that my Mom's extended family would get together for every holiday: Easter, Thanksgiving, Christmas, 4th of July. We also would get together to celebrate birthdays, in particular there were 6 birthdays in the month of August and we would have one big party for all of us. Everyone came and because of that I had a very close bond with my grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins. When my grandmother passed away in 2002 that all changed.
I went to a baby shower for my almost 20-year old cousin as he and his girlfriend are expecting at the begining of July and I could not get my 13- year old cousin to sit let alone talk to me. It was very depressing to see how things had changed so drastically. Instead of the close knit family I grew with we are like strangers who see each other once every couple of years. Not the legacy that I grew up with to say the least.
My question is how do we get back to that legacy or is it lost on the young ones and only the older children that remember see it.
I also spent this past weekend going through boxes of my Mom's pictures that span from 1980-1996 going through them made me see all of happy times. I also saw my grandparents care-free and young. My aunts and uncles through various times in their lives such as the high school graduations and weddings. I saw myself and the animals we always had around and also as the consumate babysitter for everyone. There were so many pictures of me with children it was mind boggling.
It is the legacy of family that I miss and wonder if others see a legacy they grew up with or if they are building their own legacy.
The past weekend I had some great familytime with my 16-year old cousin Rachel and came to realize that my grandparents left us a wonderful legacy on the blessing of family. This legacy is one that most people would think of as an old world view but meant so much to us. It was a simple legacy really, it was a belief that family should celebrate together and spend time together.
It seems like that does not happen often. I remember growing up that my Mom's extended family would get together for every holiday: Easter, Thanksgiving, Christmas, 4th of July. We also would get together to celebrate birthdays, in particular there were 6 birthdays in the month of August and we would have one big party for all of us. Everyone came and because of that I had a very close bond with my grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins. When my grandmother passed away in 2002 that all changed.
I went to a baby shower for my almost 20-year old cousin as he and his girlfriend are expecting at the begining of July and I could not get my 13- year old cousin to sit let alone talk to me. It was very depressing to see how things had changed so drastically. Instead of the close knit family I grew with we are like strangers who see each other once every couple of years. Not the legacy that I grew up with to say the least.
My question is how do we get back to that legacy or is it lost on the young ones and only the older children that remember see it.
I also spent this past weekend going through boxes of my Mom's pictures that span from 1980-1996 going through them made me see all of happy times. I also saw my grandparents care-free and young. My aunts and uncles through various times in their lives such as the high school graduations and weddings. I saw myself and the animals we always had around and also as the consumate babysitter for everyone. There were so many pictures of me with children it was mind boggling.
It is the legacy of family that I miss and wonder if others see a legacy they grew up with or if they are building their own legacy.
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