Just Breathe

Sorry to the blog universe for being so lax in my postings.
The past 3 months have been so busy and stressful that I was kind of afraid on what I would say here.
Here is a brief synopsis on my life since June. In July I went to be a reader in my cousin's wedding. LOTS of fun and then went on a weeklong tour of Wisconsin where I got to see what I feel are my Wisconsin family: Holly, Molly, Jen, and Lori. I love and miss you guys. Got back to Omaha and a week and a half later was moving into an apartment YIKES!! So the end of July and August was all about moving and getting acclimated to having roomates again. The last time I had roomates was when I lived with Lori and Pat before they got married which was 5 years ago. Also in August I had a birthday turned the age of 28 and sadly had a rough time with this birthday. September was a month of stress from work, to starting back to school, to learning to brush annoyances off my shoulder. So that is my life for the past 3 months.
I wish I could say that there is something on the horizon to look forward to but sadly there is not. Unless you count the holidays which means time off. Although if all goes according to plan I will graduate college in August YEAH!
I am hoping the month of October I can just sit back and just breathe. Although I am a personal attendant in my good friend Jen's wedding and with school I am thinking just breathing will not happen. In a totally different note the title of my post is also the name of a VERY good book by Susan Wiggs. If you are ever having a rough day I recomend picking it up and reading it.
Well good night blog world!

Talk about a rough week

It seems to me that when it rains it pours. Last week which should have been nice and relaxing was a sad week. I am a huge fan of celebrities and was very sad to hear about Ed and Farrah. Of course the sadness I felt for them was tripled by the loss of one of my favorite singers ever Michael Jackson. I was in shock all night Thursday about his death. I grew up with his music and loved it from the time I was a toddler I would sing and dance to his music. Sadly Friday came with another huge shocker for me. My friend Sean who I have known since I was 15 as we worked together called. Earlier in the week he told me she had been diagnosed with cancer and he was in town. On Friday she passed away and to say I was stunned would be an understatement. His mother was only a year older than my Dad and I cannot image one of my parents dying at this point.

So this week which is a short week due to the 4th of July holiday will be extremely stressful with the visitation I went to tonight, the funeral tomorrow, and one of my best friends husband having surgery on Wednesday. Like I said at the beginning when it rains it pours. I want to do something to help these great friends in my life but know that there is nothing I can do to help or ease their pain. I know what it is like to have an immediate family member pass away and it is incredibly painful. So this week I will be saying many prayers not just for me but for everyone in my life and hope that they have a week of blessings bestowed on them.

I've Come to Realize

In the past week I have had so many ugly situations thrown at me that there are a couple of things I have come to realize:
1) Life can truly suck. No matter how frustrated I get with my life I now have to remember my friend from high school whose mother is battling cancer and one of my best friends whose husband is having major surgery next week. Both are people who are put in situations that they do not deserve.

2) True friends come through when you need them. I am lucky to have some fabulous friends that seem to know me better than I know myself. I do not always tell them everything but that is because I see myself as not wanting to burden them

3) Words truly can be hurtful. No matter what anyone says words are painful. I watched Oprah a few weeks ago when she did a story on bullies and I realize that the most hurtful bullies in our life can be our family. They know every insecurity and bring them up all the time.

4) We never know where life will take us. I never thought 10 years ago after graduating from high school that I would still be single and in college. Although I can officially say by August I will be in my own apartment if my roomates ever turn in their application paperwork (but that is another story for another post)

5) A good pedicure can make an crappy day all better. I really don't need to explain this one I hope.

6) Just because you want to be my BFF does not mean I reciprocate the feeling and you need to deal. This is aggravating because I am a good person who does not like to hurt others feelings but I am at the point of spelling it all out. Seriously please learn to deal.

7) Although I love to go on vacation they never go as planned. There always seems to be something that happens that changes plans. Either storms or stopping and picking things up with family. The annoyances that drive me batty.

8) There is something seriously wrong with my back but I am to stubborn to go to a chiropractor to deal with it.

9) I hate summer. There I have said it the past 3 days it has been ungodly hot. I believe yesterday the heat index reached 108 degrees and I live in the middle of the US. That seems a little to intense for me. It would make sense if I lived in Arizona or Flordia and could deal but heck I live in Nebraska

and lastly
10) sleep is my friend. To bad the sun would not rise till after 10 AM and I would be happy as when it comes up I wake up. Really annoying on the weekend when I should sleep in.

Well that is my rant for today.
Hopefully I can give everyone an apartment update soon I am just waiting on my roomates and they seem to not want to answer my calls :( I am sure they are just not getting to the phone soon enough.

A New Chapter

Well as of yesterday my roomates and I have found a place we all agreed would be good to move to. I took the leap and filled out the paperwork and now just have to wait to hear about approval.
Although everyone has said this is a good thing it is still a very step for me to take.

I am hoping this will be a new chapter in my life. Maybe I can get out in the world and meet someone special. One would think that it would be easy but for me change is hard and scary. I always worry I have made the wrong choice.

In other news I am getting very excited for my vacation in the middle of July. It will be a good break from Omaha and not only will I see family but also my BEST friends in the entire world. Sadly we all live so far away we do not see each other very often but I get to spend 2 days in Milwaukee, 1 day in La Crosse, and 3 or so in Eau Claire. Of course the reason for the trip is my cousins wedding but the week after that it is friend time.

It is hard to believe that the 10-year anniversary of going to Viterbo is fastly approaching. Which means that I have known these friends for 10 years which is hard for me to wrap my head around. It makes me feel old and stunned. How could 10 years have passed so quickly and to look at their accomplishments just amazes me. They are all blessed with wonderful husbands and kids.

So I hope the next month passes quickly not only for the vacation but also for the move to Torrey Pines.

Legacy

Do we all plan on leaving a legacy behind or does it happen naturally?? That is the question that has been on my mind all weekend.
The past weekend I had some great familytime with my 16-year old cousin Rachel and came to realize that my grandparents left us a wonderful legacy on the blessing of family. This legacy is one that most people would think of as an old world view but meant so much to us. It was a simple legacy really, it was a belief that family should celebrate together and spend time together.
It seems like that does not happen often. I remember growing up that my Mom's extended family would get together for every holiday: Easter, Thanksgiving, Christmas, 4th of July. We also would get together to celebrate birthdays, in particular there were 6 birthdays in the month of August and we would have one big party for all of us. Everyone came and because of that I had a very close bond with my grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins. When my grandmother passed away in 2002 that all changed.
I went to a baby shower for my almost 20-year old cousin as he and his girlfriend are expecting at the begining of July and I could not get my 13- year old cousin to sit let alone talk to me. It was very depressing to see how things had changed so drastically. Instead of the close knit family I grew with we are like strangers who see each other once every couple of years. Not the legacy that I grew up with to say the least.
My question is how do we get back to that legacy or is it lost on the young ones and only the older children that remember see it.
I also spent this past weekend going through boxes of my Mom's pictures that span from 1980-1996 going through them made me see all of happy times. I also saw my grandparents care-free and young. My aunts and uncles through various times in their lives such as the high school graduations and weddings. I saw myself and the animals we always had around and also as the consumate babysitter for everyone. There were so many pictures of me with children it was mind boggling.
It is the legacy of family that I miss and wonder if others see a legacy they grew up with or if they are building their own legacy.

Crazy Airlines

So in the past weekend I have taken 4 flights and I realize something.
Whoever made the airport rules to getting on a plane is nuts.
They first board people with small children or who will need extra time.
That makes sense get those people settled first. Then they go to the people in 1st Class.
This rule is dumb these people sit at the front of the plane wouldn't it make more sense to board the passengers in coach who will be towards the back of the plane first. I can't tell you how much time I spent waiting as others put their stuff in the overhead. In my opinion they should board people by time needed and then by back to front for the plane. It would ease congestion and make a smoother transition to getting on the plane. I also do not get the whole everyone having a carry on that is the size of a small suitcase. I thought your carry on was suppose to be a backpack or purse. It was so bad on 1 flight that somone had to travel 6 rows back to stow thier overhead suitcase. It was crazy.

Fun Weekends

There is nothing like a weekend away to give you perspective and help you relax.
While I am the 1 person that should not need a weekend away as I am single and do not have kids. It was truly needed. From the stress of work and school I was ready to crack.
This weekend has truly been an adventure but so laid back. I had a blast with Lori and Holly we all needed some time and seemed to have a great time.
While we had tenativly planned to go into downtown Chicago and go to Navy Pier and shopping on Madison Avenue. Well we sort of got lost going to the Metra Station due to faulty Google directions and user error on my part. By the time we got to the station the train had just pulled up and we were on the wrong side of the tracks. We looked at the schedule and the next train was 2 hours later. Needless to say we decided not to go into town and to go Woodfield Mall where we shopped and got a pedicure. I am SO happy that I found a dress for my cousins wedding in July at JC Penney's that was 50% off. It was very nice.
Later that night we went to Kohl's where I spent to much money but got some much needed work clothes.
All in all a fabulous weekend that I do not want to end.
Saying goodbye is always horrible and makes me cry but I try to not let it show.
Luckily I will see my girls in 7 weeks.
Such a long time but not really.